These days, thanks to clumsy little Antonio, every time a kid picks up scissors and gets a gleam in their eye, some mom shouts, "Operor non vado velox per forfex!" "NO RUNNING WITH SCISSORS!"
In those days, the invention of scissors had quickly given birth to the pure, exhilarating sport of RUNNING WITH SCISSORS. For obvious reasons, it was selected as a trial Olympic sport. One day the sensation was sweeping the globe, the next it was squashed by the moms. Little Antonio went down in history as the first and last gruesome death caused by running with scissors. For over 100 generations and in over 400 languages the phrase "Don't run with scissors" has completely dominated the landscape and eliminated the once pure joy of the sport. This travesty has led to an endless chain of maladies, injustices, and even drugs invented to take the place of RUNNING WITH SCISSORS.
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